Praise "Bob"!

What about the Glorps? I'll tell you about the WITLESS evil Glorps who exist ONLY to rob the Earth of its Slack! They FEAR everything different. All around us the Glorps exist to be MOCKED, to be FLEECED, to be pitied but USED! They are the THIEVES of Slack! The SubGenius knows he is NOT normal and NEVER WAS! He knows the evil Glorps embrace bosses lovingly. The Glorps are DOOMED never to know the enlightened JOY of "Bob" and his Word. They will never pay Church dues, nor would "Bob" want them if they did, though he will of COURSE take their MONEY! But the evil Glorps will DIE without the blessed Yeti genes! It's all in the Prescriptures! The forbidden sciences teach that the vital importance of "Connie" to the understanding of the SubGenius can heal or destroy or BOTH and still (SAY IT!) must be shouted like the divinely IMperfect BRAG from the rooftops! Why is the Yeti spawn lucky? Because only the spawn of the Yeti finds his newest ShorDurPerSav. He needs no Devival to refill his Slack. Yet he still knows that Head Launching is the place to find the Prairie Squid and he revels FOREVER in the joy of the Prairie Squid!

Does this make NO SENSE to you?
Is this your first exposure to the Word of "Bob"?
Maybe you need to learn MORE. It depends on how you react to these electronically generated yet DIVINELY AUTHENTIC spews of TRUTH. Did you find them meaningless and annoying, or strangely compelling?